Memories of Origin

I am often asked "what do you remember about South Korea. or did you speak Korean"? My actual memories are a bit blurred with the stories others told of my childhood.

When I arrived in the US, I came with a pink snowsuit, pink dress and pink tights. The Orphanage carefully sent a list of Korean words and the English translation, to assist my adoptive parents in the coming months. Actually, I spoke Korean when I first came to the US, but never made a serious effort to speak it through the years.  

I had a stripped quilted bedroll, and carefully rolled it up each morning. I had my rice bowl, that I wrapped my arm around it in an effort to prevent its contents from being absconded. My rice bowl habit lasted for decades, although it manifested itself in many other behaviors. Protecting what is mine, believing that I am ultimately responsible for my provision... I still love pink!

I applied in January for the AFLAC payout, they informed me that my policy had lapsed and they would not honor my request. I tried to write a half hearted letter of appeal, mailed it and never heard from them again.

I have nothing yet on the employment horizon, of course I have sent on-line applications, but they are generally a waste of time. My creditors don't care much that I am unemployed and so the immediate worry is "how will I pay .... whatever, but lets start with the house"?

This belief that I am ultimately responsible for my provision is a deep seated trust issue. I often waiver from one totem pole to another... and then I went to the mailbox yesterday. I leafed through the utility bill, the offer for maid service, the Netflicks DVDS, the coupons and then I see an envelope from AFLAC. Oh, no... the premium is due again, I think and place it in the kitchen mail slot.

I am supposed to make dinner and I feel prompted to stop and open the mail - I hate opening the mail! I sit and dutifully open the bills, offers, reminders, coupons and then get to AFLAC. Its the payout I requested, was denied, and appealed in January... it will cover almost the entire house payment for the next month!!!

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 4:18]....its not all up to me!