Aesthetic Nest: Sewing: Chevron Chenille Baby Blanket (Tutorial)

Aesthetic Nest: Sewing: Chevron Chenille Baby Blanket (Tutorial)

Re-Setting the Compass

In the United States, a couple began to earnestly pray that God would permit them a child to add to their love. Multiple lost pregnancies, a new hope was born of adopting a little one to make the family complete. Praying and fasting for God to provide the right child, God gave them a plan... naming the child they did not know, had not seen, and had no assurances would appear.

The name was prayerfully guided by the Spirit of God. This must be a name that would stand as a compass and charter for life.There were no promises, no pictures, no contract to lean on, just the firm belief that God would provide the right child for them.

The name chosen: Victoria, to remember that she was regal in God's Kingdom; Dorcas, to be a servant in God's Kingdom; Evangeline (added at naturalization) to see beauty in God's Kingdom.

What do I pray for? My prayers are often so trivial and self assuring, they become mindless exercises in meeting my supposed needs. Give me, provide for me, forgive me, and act on my behalf.

Why am I consumed with paychecks and duties, rather than things that matter for eternity? How often do I deeply consider the charter and compass of my life? I say I believe that I am Spirit led, and yet I make so little time to seek the Spirits compass for life.

What if my adoptive name was foremost as I made decisions and choices, could the outcomes be different? Would my prayers be focused on Godly citizenship, Godly servant hood, Godly bettering and beautifying?

Its handy to have a charge written into your name, but in fact if I declare myself a Christ follower; my prayers should be different, my decisions and outcomes should be built on God as my compass and charter.

Search for God's compass, vision, timing and charter design, spend more time praying for the Gifts of the Holy Spirit than the gifts that 'moths eat and rust destroys'. Through fresh prayer God is simplifying my life to clarifying my true compass and charter. My name matters, but His Name ultimately matters most.

Hardship Can be Motivation

About 10 miles east of Seoul amidst rice paddy's and the devastation of the war, high on a hilltop, a Seventh-day Adventist Orphanage was founded.

This simple concept was so much more complex when at the time every grain of rice had to be carefully allocated, when material supplies such as diapers or medical supplies were unavailable or extremely limited, when building material was not to be found for expanding the housing and cooking facilities, when children had to be fed in shifts since there were not enough benches or tables to seat and feed all at one time. A precious Doctor and his wife chose to become providers and protectors.

It is estimated that upwards of 500,000 children died in the three years of that war in both North and South Korea. It is estimated that 100,000 children were orphaned or were separated from family and wandered the streets and by-ways of Korea. Most of the children were brought to the Orphanage by US Service Men and Women, more than 1000 children saved and placed in American homes as Adoptees.

In the midst of war, deprivation, hardship, military men and women whose job was to kill and maim, acted as hero's. Dr. George & Mrs. Grace Rue (the founders and Director) could have remained comfortable and secure in middle class America, but they offered great hearts and great service. [ http://www.koreanchildren.org/docs/orphanages-6-SeoulSanitariumandHospital.htm ]

Hardship tends to find me asking "why God... why didn't You... why me... are you punishing me and so on..." I recall some early days of my first pregnancy, discovering all I had to feed me and my baby was water, ketchup and elbow noodles. I remember thinking I was a 'good person, trying to do the next right thing, working a full time job and going to college - so was I being punished or did some sin put me in this place.

When hardship arose for the widow of Zarephath [ !Kings 17:8-24 ], she began preparing the last meal for she and her son, never knowing her simple act of willingness to give to a stranger would raise to life that very child.

When hardships come, what should my first response be... is it time to dig deeper into God's Promise storehouse, is it time to activate what I have in my hand, is it time to ask myself to override what I am trained for to do what God places in front of me?

I have traveled to underprivileged parts of our world, and even here in the US, there are a zillion hurting, broken people. Maybe even on my street, in my school, in my church or at my job. Is it possible that I am Divinely placed in each setting to act with great heart and great service?

How I feel may not be as important as how I choose to act... who stands near that needs your heart and service?

Memories of Origin

I am often asked "what do you remember about South Korea. or did you speak Korean"? My actual memories are a bit blurred with the stories others told of my childhood.

When I arrived in the US, I came with a pink snowsuit, pink dress and pink tights. The Orphanage carefully sent a list of Korean words and the English translation, to assist my adoptive parents in the coming months. Actually, I spoke Korean when I first came to the US, but never made a serious effort to speak it through the years.  

I had a stripped quilted bedroll, and carefully rolled it up each morning. I had my rice bowl, that I wrapped my arm around it in an effort to prevent its contents from being absconded. My rice bowl habit lasted for decades, although it manifested itself in many other behaviors. Protecting what is mine, believing that I am ultimately responsible for my provision... I still love pink!

I applied in January for the AFLAC payout, they informed me that my policy had lapsed and they would not honor my request. I tried to write a half hearted letter of appeal, mailed it and never heard from them again.

I have nothing yet on the employment horizon, of course I have sent on-line applications, but they are generally a waste of time. My creditors don't care much that I am unemployed and so the immediate worry is "how will I pay .... whatever, but lets start with the house"?

This belief that I am ultimately responsible for my provision is a deep seated trust issue. I often waiver from one totem pole to another... and then I went to the mailbox yesterday. I leafed through the utility bill, the offer for maid service, the Netflicks DVDS, the coupons and then I see an envelope from AFLAC. Oh, no... the premium is due again, I think and place it in the kitchen mail slot.

I am supposed to make dinner and I feel prompted to stop and open the mail - I hate opening the mail! I sit and dutifully open the bills, offers, reminders, coupons and then get to AFLAC. Its the payout I requested, was denied, and appealed in January... it will cover almost the entire house payment for the next month!!!

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 4:18]....its not all up to me!

Salvation and Still Scarred

I weighed just 18 pounds at my second birthday. I was mal-nourished and very underdeveloped. 'Did she try to hide the pregnancy, did she hope it would end, did she have too few resources to provide for the child growing with in her? ' I still (at age 50+) have baby teeth, as adult teeth buds never formed.

Baby girls, and especially Amer-Asian babies were at best unwanted. It was still not uncommon to commit infanticide with little ones who would not be acceptable to the culture. It was societies norm to disallow advanced education, perhaps even childhood education to mixed children. Many would end up as beggars, child laborers and even selling their little bodies for ungodly acts. Amer-Asian children seldom had a bright future ahead of them, unless they were saved through Adoption!

Bodies can be nourished and saved, yet souls can remain languished and malnourished.

Losses... yesterday I spent the day "trying to reflect on what is next, will God ever return 'the years the locusts have eaten' to my life?". This loss brought emotions when I left the office and alone in my car. I began to feel those old feelings of loneliness and fear about the future. I began to spin in my mind worst case scenarios and lies of the Enemy. I have heard all those lies before, and yet they continue to hold power and sway when they grow unguarded. Those lies of guilt, shame, value and purpose are so subtle and sneaky. The Enemy knows just what works to pull us toward despair and hopelessness, he is so wicked.

I called my kids to speak the bitter emotions, they loved me with words and actions; it was not enough to overcome the Enemy's tailspin. I went to my room and cried alone, considering what did this hurt so badly, especially when I knew it was coming... fears unspoken are fears unresolved.

As I poured out the words of my fears (both real and imagined), I felt impressed to move back to scripture. Here I re-read the story of Moses as he prepared to die [Deuteronomy 31:6, 7 & 23] and the 3 recorded times he spoke to the Israelite people with these words: "be strong and courageous ", even adding the word 'very' once. Then I moved forward to Joshua as he re-starts the journey to Canaan; where he to uses [Joshua 1:6,7,9,& 18 and Joshua 10:25] the same phrase: "be strong and courageous" recorded 5 more times.

Perhaps as my final destination is known, but the journey and map is not revealed I need to repeat those timely words as I feel the lies of the Enemy lurking in my shadows.

Be Strong and Courageous repeat this 5 times out loud today....

Left in the Garbage - But Moved Since

It was late springtime in the mountains of South Korea. The country had been ravaged by war and the woman ravaged in a moment of passion or rage by an American GI. That fleeting moment birthed a lifetime of ….. Stories. Okay, okay it may be true, but way too dramatic… let’s get to some hard truths.


I was born to a South Korean National and an American Serviceman just after the armistice. I was preserved by being left in a garbage can at an Orphanage. And this is my long, long story of repeated Loss and Hope.


Yesterday I lost my job. It’s not the first time and probably won’t be the last. This time I did not cry through the severance process, but there was a time I wept silently as the words unfolded. For the most part I have been a hardworking, focused, dedicated and capable employee, on one occasion it was my own harvest I was reaping.

Being “let go, fired, dismissed, right-sized, laid off, resigned, terminated, released, pink slipped, discharged”; all equals unemployed and without income, purpose, identity, place or duty. A person could feel like garbage or at least thrown away.


We are conditioned to be part of the “master-slave” condition, we are told work is who you are, and society demeans those who are not employed. Financial, psychological devastation is hard enough to work though, but add the spiritual devastation; and it leaves us broken and shattered in massive ways.


Survival and determination has become the antidote to finding a new employer, we certainly need that… but what happens before, during and after from Heavens side….?


Losses have been a large part of my life, and in the recent few years my perspective on losses has changed.